2021! It’s a new year and class is in session. There comes a time when we must stop hiding who we are and live bold. For as long I can remember, I’ve been hiding. My upbringing and the belief that people would not like me, stopped me from speaking up for myself. In the past, speaking up, got me ridiculed. So, I started to live emotionless and hide my true desires. I would let people take advantage and put their nasty energy on me. Doing that, led me to depression and SEVERE ANXIETY. I had to protect myself, even if that meant being fake.
Even though I had an unwavering air of confidence over my life, I still tried to please people. I wanted everyone to like me. I thought by putting my feelings on the back burner, I made it easier for myself. I hid behind, laughs and smiles. I made it my obligation not to ruffle feathers in my relationships. I wanted everyone to be happy and not look at me as the bad person. I never learned how to stand up for myself in a way that didn’t come off as aggression. From childhood, I learned that I could be labeled the bad person.
Society is like a popular group in high school. Everyone wants to fit in. If you’re not on the inside then you’re on the outside, being laughed at and mocked. Society will even degrade you if you don’t meet its standards. I was unique and had different views but, I didn’t know how to express it in appealing way. As a child, with no limitations, I expressed myself vividly. People took my shrewdness for arrogance so, I played ditsy to fit into society. I learned through force that speaking your mind was wrong. That followed me into my teenage and young adult years. But now, at 24 years old I realize: YOU HAVE TO SPEAK YOUR MIND. Being bold keeps you from being walked all over.
Boldness is the spice of life. You have to be bold and set boundaries. Setting clear boundaries will cut the chances of mistreatment. Without boundaries, it gives people free rein to attack your character. When dogs don’t have clear boundaries they run amuck, same goes for humans. Boundaries are essential in all relationships. You should not feel guilty by making RESPECT a boundary. You are in control of your life. You have to defend yourself against all invaders wanting to steal your peace.
I learned the main ingredient of success is finding your voice. Confidence is key. When you are able to stand up for yourself and not tolerate disrespect, you elevate. Being too nice and playing it cool will only allow others to manipulate you. You have to teach people how to treat you. Since 2021 this has been my biggest lesson: to build inner strength. Nobody can fuck with you when you’re internally strong. Internal strength comes from knowing who you are and what you want. Not tolerating disrespect and letting people know when they’ve crossed the line.