The last two weeks have been gloomy. I started off, feeling like I was on top of the world. I finally decided what I wanted to focus on. It was in alignment with God’s word. I spent each day doing what my heart desired. I worked out every morning. I made healthy meals and only did things I wanted to do. I was focused on one goal asigned by God. It wasn’t until I was hit with a request to do something I did not want to do. It made me push aside my current project. It was a paying gig, so I agreed. The next day, the client cancelled on me. I felt my bad, and my body started to ache. That quick, I was thrown back off track. I don’t know why it hit more seriously this time. Clients have canceled on me in the past. But because I went against my spirit, it cost me. I broke the flow I was having with God. He didn’t tell me to work on this, he gave me free reign to work on what brought me joy.
You have energy stores, located in your heart. When you do things in alignment, the amount of energy increases. You look and feel better. You have no pain or sickness. But if you go against the flow, it pulls energy from your heart and you can end up spiritually bankrupt. When the enemy sees you working on things for God, he will throw anything to distract you. The situation with the client resulted in my heart going bankrupt. It pulled me away from what I love. I was working on my purpose. I was nuturing my heart with it, then all of a sudden I turned away from it, to do something I borderline hated. I had about $100.00 worth of energy stored in my heart, after the fiassco with the client I had about $25.00.
It’s that serious with me. When I go against myself, my energy gets drained. So much so, it can take weeks to refill it. I use to be able to deal, until I realized the only person I’m hurting going against myself is myself. You have to be fed by things you love before you do the things you hate. Get in alignment. I wish to get to the point where I only do things I love. I’m learning, if it sounds like something I don’t want to do, I decline it. God wants us to do that.
Follow your heart. What is your heart insiting you do? Nourish your heart with things you love. Go to your heart often because God lives there. I’ve been putting my relationship with God above everything else. He’s shown me I don’t need to grind to live a righteous life. As long as I am being a vessel for him that’s all that matters.