Spiritually Bankrupt

The last two weeks have been gloomy. I started off, feeling like I was on top of the world. I finally decided what I wanted to focus on. I spent each day doing what my heart desired. I worked out every morning. I made healthy meals and only did things I wanted to do. I was focused on one goal. It wasn’t until I was hit with a request to do something I did not want to do. It was a paying gig, so I agreed. The next day, the client cancelled on me. I felt my bad, and my body started to ache. That quick, I was thrown back off track. I don’t know why it hit more seriously this time. Clients have canceled on me in the past. But because I went against my spirit, it cost me. I broke the flow I was having with God. He didn’t tell me to work on this, he gave me free reign to work on what brought me joy.

You have energy stores, located in your heart. When you do things that you enjoy, the amount of energy increases. You look and feel better. You have no pain or sickness in your body. But if you go against what you enjoy, it pulls energy from your heart and you can end up spiritually bankrupt. When the enemy sees you working on things for God, he will throw anything to distract you. The situation with the client resulted in my heart going bankrupt. It pulled me away from what I love. I was working on something assigned by God. I was nuturing my heart with it, then all of a sudden I turned away from it, to do something I borderline hated. I had about $100.00 worth of energy stored in my heart, after the fiassco with the client I had about $25.00.

It’s that serious with me. When I feel I have to do something I don’t like, my energy gets drained. So much so, it can take weeks to refill it. I use to be able to deal, until I realized the only person I’m hurting going against myself is myself. You have to be fed by things you love before you do the things you hate. I wish to get to the point where I only do things I love. I’m learning, if it sounds like something I don’t want to do, I decline it. God wants us to do that.

Follow your heart. What is your heart insiting you do? Nourish your heart with things you love. Go to your heart often because God lives there. I’ve been putting my relationship with God above everything else. He’s shown me I don’t need to grind to live a righteous life. As long as I am being a vessel for him that’s all that matters.

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